Canyon de Chellys is one of those places on the cosmic spider web that calls to your heart and you cannot silence the call of the ancestors. Even though it seemed impossible to make this journey happen with everything on my plate, I knew I had to go. Spider Woman, the very source of the web that weaves around our beloved earth was calling to me. After all the travel of the last nine months as a gypsy and still trying to integrate the most recent experience in Switzerland, I have to say I was truly weary. My physical body was tired, my mind was racing with details of all that lay before me and my emotional body was twisting and turning with waves of emotion welling up inside of me. On the flight to Albuquerque I had such intense anger come over me that I had no idea what had triggered it. I wanted to rest, I felt spirit had placed too much responsibility on me and I needed a quiet place to be. I was squeezed into a tiny seat on this plane and the chaos of the airport was almost too much.
Going through security yet again seemed to really test my patience. I absolutely refuse to go through the new high tech machine they have added to the security protocol as it completely distorts my energy field, which was all over the place anyway at this point. I realized this time that the TSA agents seem to get quite anxious when I refuse to go through the machine and try to convince me it is perfectly safe. “Yes, I know but I still am choosing to opt out”, is always my reply when they continue to persuade me to go through. My husband rolls his eyes knowing that I will create yet another scene with my insistence to not go through the machine but I know I must protect my energy field and he is used to it as this point. I remind him I am not an armadillo and am easily affected with the chaotic energy flow of the security machines not to mention the radiation.
“You will have to be patted down if you don’t go through”, they always tell me, to which I reply, “Yes, I know, pat away.” I have no problem with this as it seems to always allow me the opportunity to look into the eyes of the agent and provides a chance for me to send them love. Our society seems to be so afraid of touch. I have always had of course a woman pat me down, but this time is seemed almost ritualistic when she touched the center of my chest with her hands, and the Pounamu stone carved as the sacred spiral, which I always wear over my heart center. I saw her stop and glance at the pounamu as she smiled back at me.
Our group came together the first night and as I saw who had been called I was touched. There were seven of us; the same number as the last time the canyon had called to me two years before. We had come from different lands, Switzerland, England, Australia, my husband clearly claimed he was the American and then…there was me. I felt no tie to any particular land as I truly felt that I was a child of the universe. I had no expectations as this journey began, other than the call was so very strong that we were all answering. Even though I knew we had come to pray and send light from the very source of the cosmic web and the sacred stone known as Spider Rock, I had come for my own healing. I needed strength, I needed to be nurtured. I needed to be embraced by the mother as I felt I was carrying a heavy burden.
Just prior to leaving we had received a phone call from our daughter Tiffany, that our 8-month-old grand daughter was in the hospital and had been diagnosed with an aggressive form of leukemia. Although I knew in my heart this child would be all right, I wondered why the call had come now. This same day I spent time with my daughter Chyan and she began to share with me that all of her life she felt I had been gone. I was always leaving. There had always been clients who needed my attention and I was always called to a foreign land. She had been angry. She was now moving to Maui and she told me she just wanted her mother. Those words pierced my heart like an arrow that had been dipped in poison. So as this journey began these two things were heavy in my heart. I could never seem to explain to my family, which had been my mother, grandmother and daughter, how loud the voice inside had been. Since I myself was child at the age of four, the voice had been so clear. “Never fall asleep, you are here to awaken those who have fallen asleep and guide them home”.
Having had dreams weekly about flying over a cemetery and seeing souls rise at that age, I knew my purpose, but somewhere deep inside there was a feeling I had failed, that I had somehow not been there for my own daughter and now my other daughter, by marriage was facing the greatest challenge a mother could face.
As I stepped into the canyon, emotion filled my heart. The same feeling I had when I first stepped into the canyon two years before. You are first overwhelmed with the beauty, then a wind comes and the spirit of the ancestors pulls you in right away. I was filled with anticipation, as I knew this journey was going to touch each of us on a deep level. My emotions were raw and almost immediately the two crows appeared as we began our descent into the canyon.
As far as I could remember I had questioned the authority of the church and the decisions made by the government, which I felt, were self-serving to those who held political offices. When the priest could not answer my question at an early age, I turned to the animal allies for my messages. I had not been taught this by anyone in this lifetime, but it was strong within my knowing that here is where I would find my path. The Navajo people speak of walking the Path of Beauty. This is walking the path with love in your heart, forgiveness, and compassion and listening to the messengers that carried the voice of God and the Goddess. The cloud beings, the stone beings, the plant spirits, the mineral beings, the sacred waters, grandfather sky and grandmother earth, the animal allies. Each carries a message but we have replaced this with our Blackberry’s and cellular phones, our computers, our high tech machines and our need to have things. We seek our truth in watching the television or reading the newspaper, listening to the priest or voice of authority that is outside our spirit.
The people who lived within the canyon had not forgotten the ways of the first religion, the earth religion that belongs to all. I had come to listen to their guidance for my earth journey, to continue to weave the web and to share that story with you. We must all join together now; we must all find one another and open our hearts once again if we as humanity are to move forward. Everything is accelerating and there are difficult challenges that lie ahead for all of us but if we walk a path of beauty we can still find joy in the moment, we can be strong and we can awaken our brothers and sisters still sleeping, This is not a time to give up and be weak. It is a time to nurture ourselves and embrace the shadow inside.
It is the dark mother Goddess that lives through the Black Madonna that can assist us in embracing the shadow within us. As I watched, my two guardian crows it was their shadow that now appeared on the canyon wall that caught my attention.
We walked in the footsteps of those who had come before to the place where we would set up camp. For the next four days and nights this would be our sanctuary and each day we would become more of a family. Each day our family would become more enmeshed into the family of our Navajo hosts. Our first night together we gathered around the fire with Lupita and Jon, their nephew and niece and their two beautiful grand children. Dion and Daniel. Three generations that would each share there wisdom with us as we began to heal the sacred hoop that had been so damaged here on these lands long ago through the greed and ignorance of the human world. This was the story I had come to heal within myself.
Join us tomorrow as we follow the Ye’Ibicheii Trail and find a strength and courage deep within each of us as the healing goes deeper.
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